CANCER IS BAD!!!!!!!!

For the purpose of objectivity, I am a cigarette smoker and I will one day probably have cancer, so my bias against cancer should be noted for the record. Do not let it be said that I have made, am making, or will make any ridiculous statements advocating more cancer. Cancer is a scourge on humanity and should be eliminated, no matter the cost. (Hopefully before my lungs burn out, obviously.) Remember, no matter the cost.

My bitter arch-nemesis Peter Sprigg (curse his name and lineage), vice president of policy at the Family Research Council, is not so enthusiastic about eradicating our tumorous enemy, Mr C. The people at Merck have developed a vaccine to prevent HPV, a leading factor in the onset of cervical cancer. Their only wish for it’s introduction to society (besides the billions in profits they’ll reap)? Mandatory vaccination for school admission. Is that really so bad?

The Family Research Council would have people believe that this vaccine will innoculate young people with the idea that being safe from one disease will make them more at risk for unprotected sex and all of the other many sexually transmitted diseases. Sheesh, IF ONLY getting women to take their clothes off were so easy. Hell, I’d open up a free clinic in my bedroom if I thought that would work! Maybe I am just on the fringe, as usual, thinking that better medicine AND accurate sexual education would help eliminate many of the things that Mr Sprigg frets over so much. Abstinence hasn’t moved or changed from the Number One Method Of Preventing Disease And Pregnancy, yet nevertheless, disease and pregnancy keep happening. This should tell us something about human behavior and judgmental nonsense from religious conservatives.

Is less unmarried sex still more desirable than less cancer? Less suffering? Less death? Are we still listening to a bunch of old men who have nothing better to do than sit around all day wailing, moaning, and gnashing their teeth at the though of teenage girls having sex with boys?